Lust should not have as much power as it does to take over the mind of rational, educated, healthy, balanced human beings, but it consistently does. Why is that?
Lust (and lusting – verb) is that sprinkling of spice to most of our lives and a state of mind that promotes sexual growth and prowess, gives home to serotonin and built up positive energies and, in lots of cases for the mundanely employed, provides necessary creative outlets, especially for all those tax accountants and librarians that secretly obsess about new types of bondage, submission and butt stuff – which we’ll get to shortly.
Most people still have trouble admitting to their preoccupation with sex and their lust for sexual adventure. Lots of us have a serious embarrassment about lusting after whomever at the time we’re lusting after – because let’s face it, we all, at any given time, are.
But we hide it.
We hide it under the guise of a collective Catholicism-controlled set of civil rules. We’re very ‘British’ about our lusts when we want to seem classy and attractive, ironically enough, to the people we lust after. It’s yet another of the adulting masks we tend to wear to look somehow not as human as we all are.
It’s an interesting point of fact to me to still, in this time of sexual positivity, to hear an attractive woman or man say things like: ‘Well, I really need to get to KNOW them first, before I can really feel comfortable doing anything…physical.’ When deep down we all know we want to do is just meet our lusted one somewhere dark and grind it out. We all want a big blinding bang. It’s more than likely that we masturbated earlier that day before meeting our friends for happy hour. It was a much happier hour at home when our BFF texted us to say that the person you lust after – yeah, their meeting us at the pub!
…and that’s when you got out your lube and toy or favorite oversized pillow and had a quick wank to settle your sexual nerves to not look exactly like the perv you just might be…so, there’s that.
The power that lust has over the seemingly most contained and controlled of us shows itself in many ways. It is a power that operates for civility and social graces, but in an incongruous and paradoxical way. Its force has a Bizarro world-like effect on our social and secular behaviors.
For example - some of us can’t stop thinking about sex and try to make it appear as though we never think of it at all. Others of us talk of sex non stop to try to appear to have a sexual prowess that we don’t, but deeply want. And yet others of us still wait for our friends and associates to mention their weird sexual ideas to us first, so that we don’t seem to be deviant perverts, after which we are quick to chomp at the bit and share our desires, of course, following enough tequila. An example of that may be after said tequila, straight women turn, well, let’s call it straight-ish and sometimes give in to their lustful fantasies. Pull out enough whiskey and the ‘butt stuff’ conversation might start right there and then.
Now, I can hear you saying: ‘But I wouldn’t share my darkest and deepest lusts with people. I’m properly shy about such things. I only talk of these things with my sexual partner, in private, you know, like a normal person. And even then, because I was raised for eventual sainthood and I’m so classy and dignified about my, well, my bits, my current and only partner would have to pry these dirtiest of thoughts out of me because I’m sexually healthy, responsible and emotionally mature.’
Of course, you are.
That’s why your reading and/or listening to an essay on Facing Your Lust and Talking Butt Stuff.
You are healthy. You just need to admit a bit more that we all are wanting creative sex, sometimes a variety of partners for a variety of sexual reasons and lusting all the time – and some people are just sexual partners while others are a trial at true love.
You need to embrace your desires without calling them dirty but knowing that your crazy lusting is in fact normal and stop being sheepish about multiple partners if you are a responsible adult with a strong, viable and creative sexual appetite.
We all want to try it up the butt and that’s normal.
Actually, some of us don’t, but the only reason why is because some of us have already tried it and know we’d like other things instead and THAT’S a very dignified decision.
One should be proud of trying the things they desire and speak up about them so that others can share that very normal human pride.
I’ll tell you this - if we’ve drank together long enough, to the point of closing down a bar together or to the point of you making sure that I didn’t drive myself home, then trust me, by the end of the evening my friend, we will know each other enough to talk kink. Maybe not all at once. But we certainly are friends enough to talk butt stuff.
Granted, you share these things with people you either want to see again or know you will. It serves several social purposes.
If you want to see them again, there is a growing level of ‘carnal knowledge’ that they have of you and you of them. If you couldn’t care less if you saw them again intentionally, but you know you might, their knowledge of you can prevent some politically incorrect faux pas. This all works quite well to squelch those awkward post-joke moments BEFORE they happen. The old anal sex jokes that everyone knows but you can only say them in a group where you KNOW each other’s okay with it.
Old jokes like:
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
Now you see, that would offend a person who agrees with some 72 or so countries still targeting homosexuals with Sodomy Laws.
Therefore, it’s good to be open about things like sexuality and sharing at least some of your sensitive butt stuff with your drinking buddies. Some of my heterosexual guy friends are really, really sensitive about their butt stuff. My bisexual or pan friends and my gay guy friends…not so much. Some of my overly-Christianed, overly-Disneyed straight female friends are…well, to be honest, it’s a mixed bag there.
The point is…
…embrace your lustiness and know if you do you are human and to lust is normal. In addition, to be a true friend and to truly know someone is to know their butt stuff. If they open up to you, really let them in. There’s no need to thrust it and don’t hurt them on purpose. If they’re willing, move slowly and talk them through it so that you both have a flow and a flux. Opening up is hard enough, you don’t want to weaken the channel.
I truly believe this will help humanity. We can share and drink and lust in happy revelry and never again make any human feel less than human. If we are all as honest as we should be, we will confess to the power that lust has over us all and give our butt stuff the class and dignity it deserves.
I thank you.